Goal! Goal! Goal!!!

So now that the "striker type" was covered in a previous post (scroll down a few), it only made sense to cover the different "goal types" can that scored.

1. Team Goal

These involve large amounts of "passing", i.e. great assistance from your cohorts. They tend to be well set up, and need a great amount of skill on the part of both the cohorts and the "striker". Great for replays.

2. Crosses & Through Balls

These are heavily reliant on the expertise of the cohort, & normally occur in cases of heavy cockblocking abound. The cohort splits the defence with a brilliant through pass or cross. The "striker" then latches on to this opportunity to score accordingly.

3. Long range scorchers

These are goals that one has no business scoring. More often done in blind hope due to lack of success in approach play. Cockblockers move out of the way of these ones, less they lose a limb. As they say, a desperate man...

4. Free Kicks

These are of two types: the finesse and the brute force. They always start with an "infringement", a breakdown in the chipsing attempt. After a huddle with the cohorts, the "striker" unleashes a powerful striker. Or a cohort sets up a dummy run to distract cockblockers, leaving the "striker" free to score.

5. Penalty

A grevious mistake on the part of a cockblocker results in a one on one chance with the target. These are deceptive, and overconfidence leads to a weak attempt that WILL be saved. Best to pick a "spot", i.e. tactic, then hit hard & true.

6. Rebound

This is from the previous attempt of another "striker". They almost made it but great cockblocking foiled them. Or the lady who was with her chap all night just had a falling out with him. The opportunity is still there for a moment, so the expert "poacher" pounces.

7. Individual Goal

This is the preserve of the highly skilled individual. The striker dribbles past several "defenders" before easing the ball into the back of the 'net. Never a forceful endeavour, it is an exhibition of finesse.

Whew, and that's that. My inner 5yr old keeps running rampant. Now that he has been appeased, I can go back to the important things. Like cartoons!

Do enjoy your weekend.

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C.R.E.A.M.

*C.R.E.A.M. - Cash Rules Everything Around Me. A term coined by the Wu Tang Clan, & a superior hip hop track.

There's been a recurrent argument myself & @ch1ps_beba keep having, strangely enough with women. Its about money, more so that it can get you ANYTHING you desire on this earth (the women mostly disagreed). Everything short of the positive supernatural, that is (coz Jésus owns EVERYTHING, what can I possibly bribe him with?).

There are a lot of differing basic principles about money, and a lot of misconceptions. So in this episode, I will argue for my stand, starting each argument with people's statements.

1. Money can't buy you happiness.

Yes it can. Think of all the things you have wanted but couldn't get. From that toy when you were a wee snot-nosed tot, to that phone with über cool features last week. All because you didn't have money. Would getting said material things make you happy, if only for the moment? Would the ability to feed, clothe & provide shelter for yourself and family (where applicable) comfortably make you happy? I think so. I know I would be ecstatic, but I digress...

2. Money can't buy you Love.

No it won't, directly anyway, but it helps. & I do not refer to the 'cash transaction, one night of exctasy' type of love. Men, pay attention now. One of the most important qualities a woman looks for in a man later in life (or now, even) is the ability to provide. In the Stone Age, it would've been your strength, ability to hunt & provide security. Today, all these aspects of provision are more or less linked to finances. Enter money. Because that chap in the Merc will always be perceived to be able to provide more than the chap in a Probox (how I hate those things! But a story for another day).

3. Money can't hide the fact that you are stupid.

Some people are just obstinate, & languish in their lower intellect for eternity. But for those with good sense, the best cure for obtuseness is education. & education is the most expensive undertaking you can engage in in Kenya today. That's why when you got a bad grade in school, your parents were most unamused *cue belt crackle*. Money can get you into the best schools to get you the best 'brain'. Whether you follow up on this opportunity is entirely up to the individual.

4. Money can't hide the fact that you are unattractive.

Get plastic surgery. Or augmentations. Or you could just improve your wardrobe to make yourself appealing. Because sex appeal is not just about the body, but how we dress it. Even the prettiest princess needs the royal robes & crown to be complete. Otherwise she's just a nondescript.

5. Money is the Root of All Evil.

This is my favourite. Money is a piece of paper or a metal coin. An inanimate object. How this can ooze evil & drive one to madness is beyond me. Rather, it is (some) human beings who are evil. They steal money from others & horde to facilitate their gluttonous desires *cough POLITICIANS cough*. Money is the means to an end, lest we forget. If we went back to cowrie shells, don't be surprised to see some yelling 'Cowrie shells are the root of all evil!' & then what...?

*Cow and Chicken voice* END.

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What I Went To School For

So, University. Its hard to believe its finally over, how one day (Graduation) sums up 3, 4 or 5 odd years of 'education'. Education with regards to books & smarts. Education with regards to the social, academic & even spiritual. Sitting in that line waiting to be 'commenced' into the 'real world', the importance of school in its totality & lessons it taught finally hit me (So thank you Moms & Pops for forcing me to go).

So my list of top lessons goes like this:

*The best teachers will educate you about class work & life.

*Going to class religiously doesn't guarantee good grades.

*Not going to class AT ALL is an extreme sport. You're bound to break something.

*It is imperative that you have a plan. In EVERYTHING you do.

*Books are important, but so is living. Find a balance now to save learning this in future.

*In as much as we are there to learn, we're also there to explore our talents.

*You only need a handful of friends. The ones who'll tell you 'Hiyo hairstyle? Hapana!' or 'Those clothes? No.'

*Because someone is in university doesn't mean they aren't ignorant.

*There's something strangely gratifying about watching someone else cock up spectacularly.

*Having a constructive argument with some human beings is next to impossible.

*Some human beings have TOO MANY PROBLEMS.

*Never underestimate the importance of a level-headed partner (never thought I'd say THAT).

*The best way to avoid being derailed is to RUN AWAY.

*Learn from other people's mistakes. Because children are a MASSIVE commitment, & herpes is forever...

A special congratulations to USIU Class of 2011. All the people who I met there, from the soft spoken & withdrawn to the downright mental, thank you. You have taught me & many others a great deal, & made us ready (partly) for the madness that is this world.

For Oscar, Carol & all those who should have graduated with us: we hope to make you proud. Love.

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