Risky Business

Upon extensive research (and consultation with various qubaffs), I have come to accept that there are only two types of risks. ‘Only two?’ you may say. Beeeecaaaause the world is much simpler when it’s in black and white: no grey areas. I encourage you to try it for the New Year.

Anyway, to these said ‘risks’. First, we have calculated risks. For example: boy meets pretty girl on the rave. Boy has conversation with girl, sees that things are going well. Boy has huddle with other boys, & upon hearing positive feedback (meaning she has no outstanding moshene) he takes her to the Woodwork-a Waaaaakashop.

So that’s not the best example, but you get the drift. It’s taking a gamble based on research. This technically limits the risk involved, so it’s more of an assurance. & while most of us think, “Hey! I do that!” let’s pause for a second.

No. 2: Haphazard risks. This is where boy is in a club. Boy came wearing his freshest shoes to improve chances of scoring a la Leo Messi. In the melee of passing through the crowd, random qubaff scuffs said boy’s shoes. Boy gets angered. Boy starts a fight. Not taking into consideration that the random qubaff will hit him across the jaw with a beer bottle (Mututho Law, anyone?). This will lead to hospitalization due to fractured jaw. So, 6k for new shoes or 100k for hospital bills?

Safe to say all of us have made a mistake this daft at least 10 times. Sadder though is that Kenyans around us seem to do this ALL THE TIME! This leads to the assumption that goes “I’m surrounded by idiots.” (Scar, Lion King 01). Rather than be the rule, try to be the exception this year. Who knows, it may even keep you out of the hospital?