Hazards of Manhood

A close friend of mine has been going through some stuff.  At first I thought what he was going through was pretty isolated, but it turns out a lot of guys do too. So pay close attention, majamaa. You may learn something, because I did.

For anonymity purposes (& because it’s cool!), let’s call said friend Q.

So Q has been going out with his girl for a while. He puts it at past a year. & in this world we live in, that’s longer than most marriages. Shame… Anyway, he’s quite fond of her and would never do anything to hurt her or what they have. Sounds pretty nice, eh?

Enter the problem. Q met an attractive young woman and they got to talking. (Makes it sound classier than what actually happens, no?)  Then came the texting. Then the calling (Club 20, a gift and a curse). & when two consenting adults call each other for that long that late at night, you kinda come up to the place where you talk about.. Well… Physical stuff.

It really bugs Q that he has so much fun with ‘attractive young woman’ & something in him wants to see if she can back up that smack talk from all those nights. She kept at him for them to hook up. & he wanted to, with all of his might he did. The suspense and danger seemed to be too much for him. But he loves his girl, & their relationship is doing fine. Enter the problem: why create a problem where there is none?  Why the attraction to something so potentially dangerous?

A wise woman (#Thogi) once told me: “No woman wants to be Number Two. If some girl knows you have a girlfriend, AND she’s still on your stories…” Let’s just say she’s not looking for a happy ending. Now the problem of being a man in such a situation is that you never, EEEVER think said woman has an ulterior moment. That would mean questioning yourself, your ‘game’, your masculinity. & we can’t have that, can we? & besides, she doesn’t know me or my girl. Why would she want to sabotage our relationship?

This is not justification for what others have done before me or any other man.  Just that every man needs to understand that this madness may be bubbling under his surface. I once heard one of my friends say, “If you eat Filet Mignon every night, sometimes you just want fries.” This would explain why someone with an insanely hot woman would cheat on her with… You know. Eww.

It all comes down to your moral compass, what you think is right or wrong. As for Q, we’ll never know if he did the right thing. Or the damned thing…

P.S: Happy Holidays! ‘tis the season… To remember the original reason for the day.