Tisk Tisk

So this week I undoubtedly have done the daftest thing EVER so far in my life. I lost my passport. In another country. *DOH!* Yes, yes. Stupid doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel. To make it even worse, the US (from henceforth +1) has raised its terror alert to Orange *dramatic music*. Even England is having a hissy fit over some terror alert! So a random Kenyan with no passport… Not a good look.

Rather than have a cow, the people around me decided to be cool about it. So it was road trip time in the +1. As the nearest +254 Embassy is 9 hours away (9! Whot!), the drive was on. Driving for 9 hours will obviously lead to incredibly bored observations. Every state in the +1 has a clever tag on its number plate. For example, North Carolina’s reads ‘First in Flight’. Beeecaaaauseee the Wright Brothers tested their plane there. Washington DC’s reads ‘Taxation without Representation’. Whatever THAT was about, I dunno…

But it got me thinking. Since +254 is instituting counties, it would be kinda cool for each to have its own number plate. Complete with snazzy catch phrase. I can see it now…

*Kogelo - We run the World!

*Kasarani – The 24 Hour Economy

*Kitui – Noo Va!

I realize now that the hardest place to be a Kenyan is in Kenya. The guys in DC were super cool & didn’t even charge me for my temporary documents! & we chapad stories about the Hague-ees (patent pending) & why they had bottiz of Kibao in the display case for Kenyan products! Aki Kenyans…

I finally have to concede that the +1 is pretty awesome. There are little to no Vitz’ (my resident Redneck Billy Rae said, “My V8 has misfires bigger than that car”). The people are well behaved (for the most part). The infrastructure is MAAAAD! & you can get anything you want if you work hard enough. True story. & you’ll be paying bills for the rest of your natural life, but heeeey…

So I guess it’s to the +254 very soon. It has been missed, but its sub was pretty cool. & if anyone sees a passport with a random Kenyan qubaff’s picture on it, holla!